David Finley: Scofflaw?

Guest Post by Jonathan Hickey

Self Portrait- by David Finley

David Finley is a nice guy.  He's what my father would call, "sensitive."  Not at all the scurvy villain he pretends to be.

He loves sipping tea, taking long walks on the beach, and drawing cute, cuddly animals.  I once saw him blubber like a baby because a infant duckling died of "natural causes."  Honestly, it made me very uncomfortable.

David calls this blog, "The Haven for Scofflaws, Roustabouts, and Ne'er-Do-Wells."  You may consider this title just another example of David's clever wordplay but I wonder; do you, gentle reader, realize how much you have been duped by this so called "scofflaw?"  This self-proclaimed "roustabout" who is nothing more than a man-child hiding behind his southern charm and dogeared copy of Roget's Thesaurus.  Well, I for one, am not fooled.  The time has come to settle accounts.

By definition, a "scofflaw" is someone who not only breaks an ordinance but does so repeatedly.  They have zero regard for law enforcement and if they should receive a summons for court, they simply disregard it.  They relish in a total disgust for the establishment.  Well I have it on good authority David Finley voted Democrat in the last election and plans to do so again.  Scofflaw?  I think not.

"Roustabout" is a term that applies to unskilled laborers.  Oilfield workers, deck hands on the Mississippi River, and your run of the mill circus folk typically have the moniker attached to them.  Sadly, David's last "real" job involved a brief stint in middle-management.  How can anyone who uses Excel be considered a roustabout?

Which only leaves "ne'er-do-well" - a Scottish expression from the 1700's referring to an irresponsible, and lazy person.  Any regular reader of "The Haven" knows this also to be a misnomer; especially considering David's recent output.  The man is many things, but irresponsible and lazy simply doesn't enter into the equation.

So I offer a new name for your blog David; "The Haven."  It's short, sweet, and certainly more accurate.  Apply it immediately or suffer the consequences of dwindling readership and a life of cyber obscurity.

And you, gentle reader, let this be a warning.  Take all this man says with the proverbial "grain of salt" for he is more "wag" than "scally."  More "muffin" than "raga."  I have lifted the veil.

Tread lightly.

Jonathan Hickey - writer and part-time vagabond. Watch as he wrestles the angels of art, faith, and punctuation all while keeping his lovely wife and 5 beautiful children (gasp!) happy, safe, and well-fed. You can find more of Jonathan's musings at his blog: 
Work From Home