For my Octoberfest celebration, I decided to go all out: Brats marinated in beer, sauerkraut with a beer reduction, homemade spaetzel with a sage and brown butter sauce, and these lovely made from scratch pretzel rolls.
"Holy Shite, David!" you might say after viewing these lovelies, "There's no way a normal Joe like me can bake angel kissed goodness like that!"
Wrong, buddy. You can make these and I'm gonna' teach you how. First, men, (and ladies, too if you're reading) let's look at our ingredients for the dough:
- 2 Teaspoons melted butter
- 1 cup warm (105º f to 115º f) water
- 1 packet active dry yeast
- enough oil to line your rising dough bowl (I used coconut oil cause I'm a rebel)
- 2 and 3/4th cups bread flour (King Arthur bread flour worked well for me) Also, get some extra for dusting the dough during the kneading process.
- 1 tbsp granulated sugar
- 1 tsp. kosher salt + more for sprinkling
Also, to get that malty pretzel tasting goodness you're going to boil these a bit before you bake them. (easier than it sounds) For that, you'll need:
- 6 cups water (bring to boil)
- 1/4th cup baking soda
Lastly, they'll need an egg wash before you stick them in the oven:
- 1 egg beaten with 1 tbsp. water
Now, let's get to it.
Step 1. Place your cup of warm water in a mixing bowl and sprinkle the yeast on top. Make sure the temp is correct, otherwise you'll murder the little guys. Set aside these little fellas until the mixture starts to bubble. (Usually, about 5 minutes) While your yeast are enjoying the first course of their last meal, coat a big ass bowl with oil and set it aside.
|Scofflaw Baking Pro Tip: When measuring out your flour, it's not a bad idea to let some spill around all silly since you'll need it for kneading later anyway.|
If you don't own a mixer, your arms may hate you after this step. Suck it up. This is baking.
|At this stage, your dough will look like a giant pale meatball. Don't eat it. Or, do eat it. See if I care.|
It's okay. We'll wait.
Now, knead the dough until it is smooth and springy. (about 1 minute) Divide the dough into 6-8 pieces. Place on an oiled baking sheet and score them about four times.
|Don't worry if they look like ass. They'll look much better once you're done.|
|Think of this part as a sauna for the happy little yeast, not a horrible scalding death bath.|
|We're getting closer to our goal, men.|
Brush the surface of your rolls with an egg yolk mixture and sprinkle some chunky salt on top. I suppose you could sprinkle cinnamon and sugar instead and I wouldn't hold it against ya'.
And, Alakazam! Magic.
|It's okay to cry tears of joy when you take these out of the oven. Some things are too beautiful to appreciate any other way.|
You'll want to move your rolls to a cooling rack if you have one. But take my advice, don't let them cool too much. They are so good warm and fresh. I gobbled mine up with a nice juicy brat, some golden mustard, and heaps of delicious kraut while washing it all down my gullet with an ice cold Samuel Adam's Oktoberfest beer.
There you have it. Now get to baking!